Obstacles
by eva
Summary: LA’s own infamous singing and soul-helping demon has an interesting dream about Buffy and Angel. Some humor, but I twisted it so it has more drama. Enjoy.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Obstacles  
Author: eva  
Email: lllwickedchildlll@yahoo.com  
Summary: LA's own infamous singing and soul-helping demon has an interesting  
dream involving Angel and Buffy. Enjoy.  
Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of WB, FOX, Mutant Enemy,  
and Joss... I think.   
Author's Note: I want to thank Alice and Kathy, my beautiful beta readers. Without you guys, I wouldn't be where I am now. Hahaha...  
Feedback: What author doesn't enjoy feedback?   
  
Part One-   
Lorne Green's Dream  
  
There was never anything good on television anymore. Nowadays, it was all about sex,  
greasy-haired guys teenage girls fawn over, terrible plots, and more sex. A lot of sex.  
More than necessary sex. God, why am I even watching TV? All the quality shows  
ended a decade ago. Like Bonanza. Now there was a good show.   
  
Then I remembered why I was subjecting my brain to such mindless drivel. Gunn was  
patrolling in his old neighborhood for vampires, Wesley was at some demon  
convention, Cordelia was shopping, and I had offered to go with them all, even Cordy,  
but they all refused, claiming they could do whatever they planned to do by themselves.  
I think they all just wanted to take a break from me and from each other. After all, we  
are practically living together.   
  
So here I am, sitting in my lonely and empty hotel, wallowing in boredom. I needed  
something to kill. Or at least beat up very badly. I noticed my foot was twitching and  
stopped it immediately. I needed to do something; I wasn't made for this... this  
un-usefulness. I was itching for a good fight. But things have changed and I shouldn't  
go rushing head first into a bloody battle alone. I've learned that. Perhaps I can go out  
and walk around, meet new people, mingle, have fun... Then common sense hit me  
and I turned back to the television, feeling a sudden urge to throw something large and  
heavy at it. Cordelia would have a fit if I did. Too bad.   
  
"Something funny happened to me last night." I nearly jumped a foot off my chair. "I  
thought you would want to know about it." I stood up immediately, wondering how I  
allowed one of the loudest demons I know to sneak up on me, but still elated at the  
prospect of being able to kill something after all.   
  
"What's up? Need me to destroy some big bad?" I asked the green demon.   
  
"No, no. Nothing like that, Angel-cake. I had an interesting dream yesterday." Oh.  
  
"Oh." I said. Well, back to Dawson's River, or whatever that show was called. I sat  
down again and stared at the horned demon dressed in an outrageous blue suit and  
even more outrageous floral-print tie. His hair was a different color today, I noticed. His  
tips were now a bright red, matching his eyes and horns. This was one brave demon;  
actually walking into public looking like that.   
  
"First of all, I usually don't dream. I mean I do, but most of them do not involve  
vampires."   
  
"You had a dream about me?" I was now half-interested in what he was about to say.  
  
"Yep. You and a pretty lil' blond thing. I got a feeling you two knew each other very well.  
Old friends, or maybe past lovers." The green demon's red eyes glinted mischievously  
and he grinned. A sigh of exasperation escaped my lips.   
  
"Look, I thought everybody understood. I am completely over her. No feelings at all."  
Amazing. Darla left town a couple months ago and still, people bother me about her. So  
I had a little obsession with her. And yeah, she hated me so much for not turning back  
into Angelus, she cursed me. But we were way over.   
  
"Really. In my dream, you two lovebirds seemed really close. I mean really close."  
  
"I haven't seen Darla in months and-"  
  
"Darla? Who's talking about her? Yeah, she had a voice to absolutely die for, but I  
dreamt about a Buffy. That name ring a bell?"  
  
All thoughts flew from my mind and only one name remained. Buffy. God. Hearing that  
name after so... I felt... I don't know what I felt at that moment. Didn't even know how I  
was supposed to feel. I haven't thought about her at all in the last year. Well, now that I  
think about it, I do think about her. But those times were never long-lasting. When I was  
upset, I thought of her, wishing she was there to comfort me; or when I was happy, I  
usually unconsciously allow myself to wish she could share it with me. That was all.  
Wishful thinking and utterly insignificant. I was so used to thinking about her in  
glimpses and pieces that it became apart of me, it became routine. But to hear out  
loud, forcing her to be the number one priority in my mind. That was a shock.   
  
"Yep. You know her. I can see it in your aura; which, by the way, matches perfectly with  
your outfit. Have I told you lately how glad I am to see you found the strength to climb  
out of your funk and put on a shirt with color." I looked down at my new shirt without  
really thinking about it.   
  
Buffy. She was all I could think about now, thanks to Lorne Green. I pulled her face into  
my mind and realized I could remember every detail, which isn't very surprising  
considering that fact that I can recall the face of every innocent man, woman, and child  
I've murdered when I was Angelus. I remember her hazel eyes, golden hair, coral-pink  
lips, soothing caresses... Wonder what she was doing now. With Riley, her current  
boyfriend. Whom she loves with a deep and unwavering passion. God, I hated him. If  
only I can get my hands around his neck... Lorne made a noise at the back of his throat  
and I glared at him. Why was he here anyway? Oh. The dream.   
  
"Forget my shirt. What about your dream? What was happening in your dream? Is  
Buffy hurt?" I was near panic.   
  
"Hold on, cowboy. Geez. Don't worry. I thought the dream was a relatively nice one. A  
lot of love."  
  
When I thought I didn't know how to feel before, I was wrong. Now I was completely  
stunned.   
  
And inside, I felt a seed of hope begin to grow, a hope that had no business being  
there in the first place.   
  
This was bad news. I spent so much time crushing out all my faith, all the ones that  
involved Buffy and happiness because it was not possible even now, and I thought I  
succeeded. All my hopes are nothing but dust flying in the wind. Well, until now. Maybe  
his dream was prophetic. I mean I didn't know exactly what he dreamt, but as long as  
there was love... Maybe Buffy still cared about me... Great. Another year worth of hope  
to get rid of. If only I had some natural immunity against that emotion. Then maybe I'd  
stop brooding all the time. It was easier to have no expectations. Then there will be no  
disappointments. No heart-stabbing hurt.   
  
"Love?" I said this quietly, half fearing that if I spoke to loud, I would scare him off. I  
wasn't feeling very happy at the moment. Which is strange. He was speaking of a love  
between Buffy and me. Maybe it was possible, maybe there is hope. But I wasn't  
happy. Perhaps I am scared that he could be right. That if I went to Buffy, she would  
welcome me with open arms and warmth. Love. Love and happiness like never before.  
But I guess a part of me is so use to the disappointment that comes after expectations  
that I believe that whatever road Buffy and I walk on, there will always be an obstacle,  
something blocking us from happily ever after. I wasn't tired of stopping again and  
again to try and move it. I would do anything for Buffy, anything for the beautiful love that  
exists- existed between us. But I think she was tired of it, tired of being caught in a  
dead-end relationship with a vampire she couldn't even touch. I believed it was unfair to  
her no matter what she said.   
  
"Yep. Love. Between you and her. Not me and her. Don't get the wrong idea."  
  
"How do you know it was her?"  
  
"You've sang for me before, remember? I've suffered through Oh, Mandy after Mandy  
to learn almost everything I know about you."  
  
"But why in the world would you receive a dream about me? And Buffy? I thought  
Cordelia was the vision-girl. Why you?"  
  
"How am I supposed to know. I just help people... " a look of realization dawned on his  
green face. A look I recognized too well. "Maybe that's why they sent me the dream! I'm  
supposed to help you beautiful two star-crossed lovers!"   
  
Oh lord, please help me. I covered my face with my hands tiredly, and tried to ignore  
him go on and on about being the world's best matchmaker. The Powers That Be really  
enjoyed seeing me suffer.   
  
  
Author's Note: Tune in for the next chapter! 


	2. Obstacles 2

Part 2  
  
"I don't understand you. Why didn't you go back to her? You can now, need I remind  
you. It's possible."  
  
I looked up at the blue sky and chose not to respond. I knew how possible it was. But I  
also knew it was hopeless. So I made an effort to ignore him and marveled at the  
beauty of day and its life-giving light. I felt so alive. I was alive. Nearly a year as a  
human and it stilled overwhelmed me.   
  
"Don't ignore me, Angel."  
  
I ignored him.  
  
"Come on! Tell me why you can't be with her. Look at me and tell me, friend to friend,  
human to demon, why? I mean, god, you must have a reason. And it better be a good  
reason, too." I was beginning to think Lorne had super-persuasive powers.   
  
"Look, the exact second I became human, I thought of Buffy, I thought that perhaps I  
could finally be with her. Give her the life she needs. My mind was plagued by her. Her  
laughter, her eyes. Her pain. And I knew I couldn't go back."  
  
"Why not?" Lorne had a look of frustration on his face, one that probably matched  
mine.   
  
Didn't he understand? I left her so she could find something that was worth her love. I  
wasn't going to be selfish and go back. I didn't have the right anymore. I lost it when I  
left. A couple months after I visited her on the day of her mother's funeral, she sent me  
a letter, telling me very politely about her life, nothing extremely important. She wanted  
to keep in touch with me, wanted to know what was going on. I never wrote back. I  
wanted to. Everytime I looked at the letter I kept in my drawer, I would feel a desire to  
pick up a pen. Tell her about my inevitable shanshu. Confess my love. Tell her I wanted  
to be with her every second of the day since I left. But what was I supposed to say? I  
know you don't think I love you anymore, but I do. So dump your boyfriend and give me  
a chance I really don't deserve. Oh yeah, did I mention I'm human?   
  
I couldn't do that to her. I had to sever all ties and end it. I had to be strong for the both  
of us.   
  
I never got a letter from her again. But I still half-expect Cordelia to come in one day  
with the mail and tell me there was one from Buffy. And every time she didn't, I would  
reprimand myself. It was my fault for having hope.   
  
"Because she has a life. She has her friends, her life. Riley. I can't just barge back into  
her life and disturb everything I gave her when I left." I gripped my fist, mind flooded  
with thoughts of a thousand ways I could make Riley hurt.   
  
"But I saw you in my dream. With Buffy. In the sun. You were happy. She was happy.  
Both of you were happy. You two were on some ship on the ocean and smiling like the  
happy couple you guys were. Like Jack and Rose but without Celine Dion singing in the  
background." I stared at him incredulously. Obviously, he had little too much vodka that  
night.   
  
"It was just a dream. A stupid, meaningless dream. Probably residue from your  
aura-readings. It was nothing. Give it up." I knew he would not but everything was worth  
a try. Except for maybe trying to be with Buffy again. For the past week, Lorne had  
done nothing but hound me, stalk me, swear to never leave me alone until I called her.  
Wesley, Cordelia, and Gunn were probably suffering extreme ear-damage. I know I am.  
I turned my back on him and moved towards my hotel, suddenly feeling like I got  
enough sun today.   
  
"Do you still love her?" I paused and turned back to him, not knowing what to say. Of  
course I loved her. Loved her so much, I didn't care about my own pain. Her happiness  
is my solace. Everything I do is for her. Kill one demon, save one life, make Buffy  
proud. It hurt to know she didn't love me anymore. Pain like a venomous shadow eating  
away at my heart. But she was happy. And sometimes, thinking about that made my  
hurt fade a little.   
  
"You know what. Don't answer that. It's as obvious as," he looked up at the sky and  
then turned back to me, "the light of day. You love her. And as the shining sun is my  
witness, I will not ignore the task given to me by a greater power, and help get you two  
back together."   
  
I suddenly wished I was a vampire again. Then I could fling myself out into the sun and  
explode into a million particles of dust. Death had to be a better option than this. 


End file.
